Her: did you know nematodes are what causes elephantiasis?
Him: better check my schlong for nematodes!
Her: did you know nematodes are what causes elephantiasis?
Him: better check my schlong for nematodes!
Him: Is that twelve inches? I guess it could be twelve minutes.
Her: (weird look) I don’t want 12 minutes of anything to do with Donna Summers disco
Him: So you’d rather have 12″ of Donna Summers?
Her: Definitely
Her: who wants a big vagina?!
Her: NOBODY!
Her to him: can you work out for both of us?
Him: Sure. No problem to do a double workout this morning.
Her: But that won’t lose fat for me!
Him: No, but it will for me. You can just mooch off of my fitness. Awesomeness by association!
Him: would you like some almonds in your vagina?
her: no, I wouldn’t. But very kind of you to ask.
him: I know; I’m a total ladies’ man.
To her: if I painted my penis black would you have sex with me more?
To her:
will I still love you when you’re no longer young and beeeeautifulll? You hope I will. You hope I will.
Her: Wait, so Seagal is going to retire and the little girl is gonna be taken care of by the guy?
Him: Right.
Her: And the hot older sister is gonna be banging Seagal?
Him: Right.
What girl doesn’t dream of being Seagal’s retirement bang.
To her: I should make it rain. Do you want me to make it rain?
Her (suspiciously): what kind of rain?
Him: good question when it comes to me. What kind of rain would you like?
Her: just not piss. Or jizz.
Him: “I think I just farted.”
Her: “I’m pretty sure you did. ”
To Her: “I’m not sure; can you check?”