Her: did you know nematodes are what causes elephantiasis?
Him: better check my schlong for nematodes!
Her: did you know nematodes are what causes elephantiasis?
Him: better check my schlong for nematodes!
Her (with ongoing vag problems): is our internet slow?
Him: I dunno. You’re probably killing it by downloading videos or something.
Her: Yes. That’s it; I’m watching porn while working.
Him: I knew it!
Her: because exactly what I want right now is a throbbing vagina!
Him: have you tried the new measuring tool in iOS 12?
Her: no
Him: it’s a little disappointing; it seems to only work up close
Her: I’m sure you’ve used it to measure your dong already.
Him: no, actually, but that’s a great idea
Him: Is that twelve inches? I guess it could be twelve minutes.
Her: (weird look) I don’t want 12 minutes of anything to do with Donna Summers disco
Him: So you’d rather have 12″ of Donna Summers?
Her: Definitely
(Her not wanting to put out): I’m going to have a glory hole cut in the house.
Him: do you know what a glory hole is? That’s not going to help your cause.
Her: I’m going to install (dog name) at the glory hole along with a peanut butter dispenser.
Her: who wants a big vagina?!
Her: NOBODY!
Her: I don’t like Mars, it’s too war like. But I really like Saturn and Jupiter.
Him: I prefer Uranus.
Him: (Pretending feet are in stirrups) (farts)
Her: did you just birth a little turd?
Him: we are proud to announce our first born: Turd Ferguson
Her: I love the taste of garlic and the smell, too. But not when the smell is coming out of my ass.
Not only does Aaron Sorkin like Bloodsport, he probably ghost wrote it.